Just keep breathing

Written Friday, April 27th

I took my first deep breath today – my first refreshing, satisfying, complete deep breath in as long as I can remember.  I also wore all white today.  It was as if I was saying, “Dear Friday, I surrender.”  I work really hard every week.  Most days my plate is full and my tank is empty.  I make a list of things to do and am devastated at the end of the day when I realize that I didn’t fully accomplish one single thing on that list. I power through my day, usually with the help of a Red Bull.  Thank goodness the human body has autopilot, because otherwise breathing might not ever happen if it required that I remember to do it.

Before I was married and had kids my life wasn’t like this.  However, my brain no longer has the capacity to hold the memories from life before this.  I literally can’t remember what I used to do when I came home from work to my condo for one.  I really, really can’t remember. (Ask Lisa, we recently had this conversation).  I know I still made lists and I am going to assume I had much more free time to actually get “stuff” done.  I probably even had time to breathe.

But anyway, I felt that I truly deserved to take a few hours off from work today. My hard work made me worthy of some time away from my husband and kids, for a pedicure and lunch with my bestie. It was the BEST PEDICURE EVER!  A special thanks to all my girlfriends for the Spa Gift Certificates you gave me for my birthday.  (Yes, that was in September and April is almost over, welcome to my life.)  Gizmut tucked me into my zero gravity chair, tilted me back, placed an eye pillow on my face and did her thing.  She rubbed some fragrant oil on her hands and waved them under my nose.  She asked me to take 3 deep breaths…and like anesthesia before a surgical procedure, that was the last thing I remembered. The next thing I knew Gizmut was softly whispering my name in an attempt to bring me back to the real world. She asked for 3 more deep breaths of her fragrant oil and her hand gently shielded the bright light from my eyes as she brought me back.  I opened my eyes and it was like “HOOOOOONK!!!!! Welcome back, now get outta here!” (Thanks to Kim and Chad for that.)

It was amazing how revitalized I could feel with just a few deep breaths and, of course, a pedicure.  I never take the time to recognize whether I am breathing, both literally and figuratively speaking.  I am always checking to make sure someone else is fed, dressed, sleeping or breathing, but I tend to ignore myself.  Today I vow to make it a point to stop each day and just breathe, to check my pulse in a way, and make sure I am still alive. And if you are a good friend, would you mind asking me every so often if I am breathing?  Help me to make sure this just isn’t another thing that gets added to the bottom of my list of things that never gets done.

THE BEST PEDICURE EVER: Coldwater Creek The Spa